I tried opening the door for a woman one day, and she pushed me and scolded me for being chauvinist. This felt very confusing for me. Most people don’t complain when I’m being kind, but some women do. Discourses and roles clashing. Not very good for the certainty of one’s identity.
I’ve thought up a solution, that should cater to everyone’s needs, atleast from an ethical perspective. It’s about negative and positive freedom. Positive freedom is about behavior that increases one’s personal freedom on the account of others. Examples could be taking more food for yourself so that there’s not enough for everyone else, cutting in lines, or speaking in a manner that mutes others. Negative freedom on the other hand, is about behavior that increases one’s personal freedom without decreasing others. Examples could be taking more food for yourself while thinking about how much you leave for everyone else, standing in line so you get served while others also gets their turn, or speaking in a manner that allows you to voice your opinion while others also gets to speak.
That’s basically it, but just to be clear; Opening the door for someone else doesn’t take anything from someone else’s freedom. It’s not gender-biased, it’s something that any person could do. If a woman opens the door for me, that doesn’t stop me from walking through the door. It’s something that any gentle person could do. It’s virtuous, and maybe even righteous.